17 Aug 2010 – 08.39 am – Maternity Hospital Diest (Belgium)
After 3 years unsuccessful attempts, several miscarriages and a lot of tears, Mum and Dad are finally rewarded. They had nearly lost all hope but here am I !!!
It’s Love at first sight, Love with a big L, they are mad about me. Everyone around melts for my long dark hair, my beautiful eyes and my charming smile.

12 Sept 2010
Mum and Dad give my first party in the garden and have invited about a hundred friends and relatives. It is the moment for me to show them all how a good girl I am. And that’s right, I sleep all night, never cry, even when I am hungry, no need to scream, only a little “he” to tell them that I am awake, and I know that they will arrive within the 10 seconds.
Ok, I can also scream you know, when we have to stop for traffic lights for instance, I can’t stand this !!! Mum and Dad must always laugh when this happens…

09 Oct 2010
My grand parents give a party for their 60 years of married life. I am mad about parties, so much people around me and I am always the star.
But see, 4 days later, my grandpa left us forever.

19 Oct 2010
At the funeral, I have a little bit of fever and a running nose, nothing to get worried.

20 Oct 2010
I have still a little bit of fever and a little cough.
Just to be sure, Mum takes me to the paediatrician and he decides to hold me there in observation for a couple of days. It might be a RSV virus a little bit in advance for the season

24 Oct 2010
The RSV test turns out to be negative and I cough more and more now.
We have to wait for the results of other tests but the doctors decide to transfer me to the University Hospital of Leuven in a normal room in the paediatrics ward.
They put me on a drip and as I don’t need breastfeed, my Mum may go back home and rest in her own bed. My Dad will stay with me this night.
We don’t sleep because of my numerous coughing fits. By each one of them, Dad helps to me to stand up straight and to expectorate. He always talk to me so quietly to reassure me and he gives me tons of kisses during that night.

25 Oct 2010
The staff decides to admit me in intensive care unit because my heartbeat is running out of control, between 220 and 250 bpm, and my breathing rhythm around 100 to 120 per minute, too much, far too much.

26 Oct 2010
First shock for Mum and Dad, I am now connected to a respiratory machine and I am also maintained in a light coma.
My heartbeat and breathing rhythm are now under control but the x-ray images of my lungs are not good : only 15 pct is intact, the rest is infected.
Antibiotics, Ventolin, oxygen, painkillers, that’s my menu now. This will kill the bacterium but the enormous damages caused by the toxins, my body has to fight alone and I have to try to win the battle all by myself.

The following days
The descent to hell has begun …
I am now also connected to a heart-lung machine and I ‘ve received a total blood transfusion.
Due to the toxins, my liver and my kidneys show also signs of dysfunctioning and I have to be coupled to a dialysis machine as well.
In the meantime, we have the results of the tests, and whooping cough is confirmed.
My state of health is going to stay stable the next days, critical, but stable.
Mum and Dad know that there is a deadline to the use of a heart-lung machine : two weeks maximum and after, I will have to face other complications. One day, the doctors will have to disconnect it and that means that I will have to breathe by myself again otherwise, ……..
Mum and Dad can’t stop encouraging me, repeating me continuously how much they love me and how much they believe in me.
In my light coma, I can hear them and the only way for me to show it is to move my fingers and wrap their forefinger in my hands.

4, 5 and 6 Nov 2010
These 3 days, Mum and Dad feel euphoric because the 3 last x-ray images of my lungs show a real improvement. I am clearly fighting and gaining ground against the infection !
I hear Dad singing “The Power of Love” to give me courage and hope to fight further.

07 Nov 2010 during the night
A first call from the hospital around 3 am to tell Mum and Dad that I was getting more and more unstable.
A second one around 6 am to inform that I made a blood poisoning and that I received a second total blood transfusion.
The doctor gives Mum and Dad the authorization to come right now en to enter the intensive care unit even outside the visiting hours. They feel a strange wind and dare not think further on the meaning of this authorization.
When they enter the room, the doctor explains them that my situation is totally out of control now, that I already received 5 times more antibiotics than normal, and that …..”we are going to lose her”.
They screamed NOOOO and started again to encourage me, but the doctor explained that the situation was irreversible, that the toxins destroyed the vital organs inside and that the best was to disconnect slowly all machines exception of the respiratory aid so that I would not die from suffocation.
The nurse laid me in Mum’s arms, back turned on all monitors while all values were slowly decreasing. Daddy followed them second after second till they were all dropped to zero.

Mama darling, Papa darling, I have to leave, but I’m not far away.

Sweet kisses,